Try Not to Cry

Try Not to Cry(Sami Yusuf w. Outlandish)
You, you're not aware,
that we're aware,of you're despair,
Don't show your tears,to you're oppresor,
don't show your tears.

Chorus:
Try not to cry little one,
You're not alone,
I'll stand by you,
Try not to cry little one,
My heart's you're stone,
I'll throw with you.

Ayri Juld where David slew Goliath,
the very same place that we be at,
passing thru the sand of times,
This land had been victims of countless crimes,
From Crussaders to Monggol, to the present aggresion,
Then the Frank's, now even a crueller oppresion,
If this wall could speak,imagine what would they say,
for me in this path I walked on,there's only one way,
Bullets may kill, bones may break,
still I throw stones like David before me and I say,

Chorus

No llores, no pierdas la fe,
la sed, la calma el que haze aqua de la arena,
y tu que levantas con orgullo ente las pierdas,
hazs hecho maves de estes polvo.
(don't cry, don't loose faith,
the one who made water come out of the sand,
is the one who quenches the thirst,
and you who raise proud from between the stones,
have made ocean from this dust.)

I throw stones at my eyes,
'cause for too long they've been dry,
plus they see what they shouldn't,
from oppresed baby to thighs,
I throw stones at my tounge,
'cause it should really keep it's peace,
I throw stones at my feet,
'cause they stray and lead to defeat,
A couple of big ones at my heart,
'cause the thing is freezing cold,
but my nafs still alive and kicking,
unstopable and on a roll,
I throw bricks at the Devil,
so I'll be sure to hit him,
But first at the man in the mirror,
so I can chase out the venom.

Hmm, little boy shot in the head,
just another kid sent out to get some bread,
Not the first murder nor the last,
again and again, the repetition of the past,
Since the very first day same story,
young ones, old ones some glory,
how can it be, has the whole world turns blind?
or is it cause it's only affecting my kind,
If this walls could speak,imagine what would they say,
for me in this path that I walked on,there's only one way,
Bullets may kill, bones may break,
still I throw stones like David before me

Chorus

Sami Yusuf

Kak Hir had given me some great mp3s from a singer call Sami Yusuf....He's from the UK with an Azerbaijan background....he's song is not the typical nasyeed that you'' likely to hear...it is more toward sending messages...it can appeal both to the muslim comunitty and the non-muslim comunitty...the best son I heard from his new album "My Ummah" is a song he did with Outlandish (A Danish group that is also great...they are multicultural and the lyrics in their songs are just morally uplifting...ohh and their kind of music is a mix of some hip-hop and multiple music from around the world..more on them later) the title of the song is "Try Not to Cry"..it tell us about the oppresion that the Palasteinian had endure...
The lyrics that touch me the most goes as follow;
"Little boy shot in the head,just another kid send out to get some bread,not the first murder nor the last,again and again the repetition of the past,since the very first day same story,young ones, old ones some glory,how can it be, has the whole world turn blind?or is it just cause it effecting my kind,
if this wall could speak,imagine what would they say,for me in this path that I walked on,there's only one way,Bullets may kill, bones may break,Still I throw stones like David before me."
It's true right??? Has the world turn blind???and the Western would asked us why we hate them so much....It's like in "Qaisy and Laila" when the Afghan driver said that there's death every second, right and left in his country because of the war...but the world does nothing about it...but when an American got himslef killed...the whole world is in a tremor...and all those who wears beard and turban or hijab is said to be a terrorist....if you really count carefully the amount of people that was killed during the Palestinian oppresion is more higher than that of the 9/11 tragedy...so if the Palestinian want to attack the Israel it should be allowed cause they started first right...just like the act of the USA attacking Iraq and Afghanistan on the pretext of trying to prevent another strike to their "oh-so-bountiful" homeland....
That have to be the biggest double-standard I have ever seen...but then who am I to critisize the "great" American.....

If we're not human...

Had an interesting discussion during Philosophy class today...What is the essence of human???basicly what is human nature??? Man said that human nature is what make we different from other animal as we are biologically and anatomically, not to mention physiologically same as other animal...so what make us difference....futher more our closest relation (not mine I'm, sure about that...tak kuasa aku ckp monyet tu family aku) the chimp's genetic make-up is only 1.2% difference from us....
The lecturer said that the western culture made up this whole human nature to try to unite the all the different cultural, religion and races of the western world...Is it really necessary...come to think about it why did we seperate our selves by all this minial little things...The Quran said that Allah make us into multiply races so that we can find one common ground and unit...so we can learn from each other...
One get to thinkig that if we're not human and if we were to act like the animal they thought we are, they might be a small population of Homo sapeins...why???think about it...if we acted according to our "animal" instict...tgose who are superior and they think they are the "alpha" leader would try to kill a lot of people so that they can have more land for themselves and more resources for themsleves...why should they share???they are the leading pack leader....I can just imagine....America will be the "alpha" male while he look upon others either as prey or his lowly mates that is there so as to keep the line going so he can have a brood that he can tell what to do

Pediculus Capitis

Woke up late for Psycho....arrive late but the teacher let me enter anyway...after finishing class, we went to see Mdm.Anastasia....she asked us to go and see the Padfak department so as to get out Padfak certificate..anyway I had planned to go to the Terapev (Uni's clinic) to get my Spravka for the 3 days I was absent..when I went there with Kak hir they asked to see our hair...why??? cause there is supposedly an outbreak of hair lice(pediculus capitis)...since they already pull out a list from god know where me and kak hir just had to do it...and of course the result turn out negative....
But I was just wondering where did all this thing started...Kak farhana told me that if you got dandruff that's good news since the lice won't go to your hair....is it true???no one knows since my last experience with head lice was when I was in Primary school....wonder who started the outbreak...but from what we can understand from the doctors there were no Malaysian case as yet....

Harry Potter GoF

Watched it already...but I didn't get to watch from the begining...I miss the first 40 minutes..but it's OK since I did watched the begining of the Triwizard challenge and got to watch the Dragon...the verdict on this movie???? It was alright but I preferre if they follow the book to the ninth...but then that will be my wishful thinking now won't it since who in their right mind will make 3 hours movie (except for bollywood ofcourse)...I am such a HP loyalist that I really want the movie to copy the plot exactly as the book...I do think you miss so much magical world when you just see the movie...There's no scene of Dobby and SPEW...and I wish they show the reall way Harry got the egg from the Horntail...and what about Krum kissing Hermione scene???That's another thing...why do they have to highlighted the Hermione and Harry scene...If you read the book, I would have thought it just show how much Ron try to deny his feeling for Hermione...but as I say...wishful thinking....
About the character casting...I can't complaint much...it's good...Cederic is of course has the basic clasic Anglo-Saxon featurres..blonde..all around jock that everybody like....Fleur is alright...Cho...hmm....she's OK but I hearing a scotish accent coming from her made me feel a bit different (no offence to the Scots since I love the accents)...Hermione is getting prettier...especially during the Yule Ball....Dan look cute with the long hair....and especially love Rupert...he's getting way mature..and that suit me just fine...and of course my man TOM FELTON..he grow up nicely...the smirk is better not to mention the way he teases Harry (I do wish we can have a spin off for the DRACO character)no matter...in the 6th movie we will see more of him (Do take note all you movies people....do not edit nor delete any Draco scene from HP&HBP kharasho???)Moody is great....Bertie Crouch Jr. is even better...is it me or all the bad guysin this movie are quite good looking in a VERY bas-boy kinda way(e.g: Tom Riddle and Crouch Jr)
Now the complaint...OK they can't satisfy everyone but then I have my right to voice out my oppinions right??apart from the not-following-the-book thingy..I'm dissapointed that there are no Bill Weasley....I was hoping I could see him and his dragon teeth necklace...and anyway how the hell is he going to marry Fleur if they didn't meet in this movie....and no Percy...it's like they trying to wipe out the conflict between the Weasley family..come on guys those conflict will play a part in the upcoming movies....oh why didn't they read the book and compare it so that they don't miss anything vitale...but then if J.K.Rowling gave her stamp of approval...what can we minnions do????
overall a 4 out of 5...ok 4 and a half.....

Asmaradana....

A new year....new peoples....the same dance??? well it won't be the SAME dance actually....anyway here's how the story goes

Last week Ain asked me wether I would like to take part in the peformance for the Ambassador meeting...I asked what dance...she said it will be Asmaradana..the one we did last year for Depa-Raya...I said wellll, why not....but not all the original cast will be joining us....The first rehearsel was done in K.Dayah's room....those who will dance is me, Ain, Lyn, Shira, Bibi and Ain (Amir's lil sister)..anyway bothe the new comer was great and catch up the dance move very fast...as for me..there were some blunder as I got a bit (Alright...a LOT) rusty since there wern't much dancing or exercise..hehehehe..but it was really fun....

I think we rehearse for 4 hours....and then that night...I reformat my laptop...finally!!!....and now I'm trying to install codecs and utilities inside..the problem keep coming from WinMediaPlayer...it say's that there is a audio codec that is not install..will try and fix it later tonight...but I'm so dogone tired now....I woke too early for Sunday morning (well for my standard anyway since I slept at 6am) for practise session....Ain and Lyn was late..overslept...sigh...bestnye....and then we practise for almost 6 hours...I'm so tired and my body ache...I can't lift my bicep muscle(hahahaha...konon terror anat)....and then I had an urge to do a spring cleaning...so I vacumed the room and reorganize my things....but everything work out OK I guess...

brighter note

Got rid of my moodiness...finally....today was great....had a test for Physio...I think I got 4..if she just took the computer test result..if it include my written maybe a 3 or a 5....you can never know with that teacher of mine....and today Psycho lecture was "interesting"...the topic???personality...and we visited our good doctor Segmuind Freud....As ussual his theory on developing personality is quite intresting..and as ussual will always be conected somehow with the sexual feeling of the person.....Here is some of his point of view

a) he said that most people have the Oedius complex when growing up....this complex is characterise when a child have a strong feeling for their opposite gender parent...and think that their same sex parent is a rival.....

b) all of goes thru 5 stages of pleasure that dictate how our personality will developt...the 5 stages are (1) oral stages, (2) Anal stages, (3) Phallic stages, (4) Latent period and (5) Genital stages.....

You can see how today lecture had been very intresting...the guys who weren't mature enough keep up laughing over their own joke (which I wouldn't even want to know) and the teacher had to stop speaking for a few minutes...can you beleive that some of this guys are more than 20 years old....urgh!!!!see how immature guys are????

after finishing lecture went out to buy some grocery and to look at some DVDs....the new DVD place was empty..then went to Dombita...the DVD atore there also seem empty....Kak Hir got an idea saying that tha authorities had raided the place....HAH!! as if....anyway went to my ussual 'prokat' place to see if there's any good one..there are...The Brother Grimm and The Blood of the Templars....but both don't have english....the Blood of the Templars some more is in Germany...guess I just watch and try out my Russian...ahaks....

challenge

A friend told me that my life here in Kursk is challenging...but then I thought...is it only because that I'm in Kursk that all this thing happen to me???is it possible that these things won't happen if I weren't here....maybe some of the things won't happen if I was somewhere else...maybe I won't get to experience the dark side of some human beings...and maybe I won't feel al these feelings now....

the dark side of human beings had always facinated me.....I always wonder why do some ppl take their own life or risk hurting others when they now that they are going to be punish because of that action.....futhermore how can you leave your love ones behind so that you can escape what you think is an unlivable life....is that what suicider think when they took that action...were they really feel that they live was worthless...that they feel useless, unloved, unwanted.....just a dust that everyone steped on and didn't care....but won't people notice this dust if the wind blew it to your face....and wouldn't you notice it when you accidentally inhale it....sure it is notice with anoyance..but atleast people notice it....

and then there were people who couldnt live if the world is not focus on them....EXCUSE ME!!! but the world does not center around you.....plz stop being foolish and try to get your act together....people aren't meant to be by peoples side for a long time....when the time came you will just drift away....and then what do you do???

why do ppl tend to look at me like I'm some idiot...is it the way I projected myself....well so much for trying to see the positive things around me.....I have ran out of positive thinking..so just let me wallow on self-pitty and negative thought...JUST LET ME BE!!!!!

a white day....

Didn't went to class the whole day today...tought of going to Russian but since it's going to be a new theme and I'm going to 'razkaz' the theme next week...I thought why not.....guess why I didn't go to class...all because of "Kim Sam Soon"....it's a Korean drama series that Nina burned for me...It took a while for me and Farhana to look at it since it needs 2 codecs to run it....anyway last night we watched the 1st episode...it was hilarious....so I asked Farhana to put on the 2nd one....and I can't stop watching it...I wanna watch the whole series that night..I mean I was so worked up because of the story I want to get it over with ASAP.....It's a story of some foul-mouth oldie (is 30 years old really that old???) that just got dump n started working in a new restaurant who is ran by the son of a hotel tycoon (a female president [women power all the way]) this guy can be called as an ice prince ( he can do this great sneer that can make Draco Malfoy proud, which make me want to kiss him) and yeah his a total jerk...which make him hotter (Farhana said I'm psycho cause I like guys that are jerks and go nuts) but he has a great soft side that he is trying to hide from the whole world (which make him look of so vulnerable and of so cute)...I want to see the whole series but the damn laptop doesn't have the necessary codec....so I end up finishing Engine...a Japanese series that star Takuya Kimura about a race car drive that got to do with his Dad's orphanage.....at last I finished it and didn't went to class the whole day...hehehehehe

When I woke up it was to the sound of Farhana getting back from class...and asked me to watch Kim Sam Soon the 3rd episode....so went to wash up and watch it with her...it was so funny....then Kak Hir asked me to go out to buy some groceries for tonight dinner (Nasi Lemak Ayam will be the menu) I asked her about the weather outside she said it was snowing I tought she was joking...when I looked outside it was white everywhere...hah...the first heavy downfall of snow this year...I've been waiting it to snow for awhile now.....I didn't tought it was snowing heavily....hah!!!serve me right....didn't were ant hood so my face was covered with snow.....

Conspiracy my ass!!!!

OK...here's the thing I don't understand when any tragedy happen...there's always someone wh can think of a great conspiracy story that just wouldn't add up......

So here's the thing....I heard from somebody (doesn't it always start like this) that there was an anoymous letter that was faxed to do uni's admin saying that Vicky's room was always loud n disturbing ppl..bla..bla..bla....and that they (the people who i writing this letter) were afraid that someone might burn Vicky's room.....and then there was the story that the fire was so big it couldn't just started from a small ciggie or short-circuit....It look like some one had douse the whole room with Carosine or something.......

Stupid isn't it....I mean it is so far fetched...do you honestly think that anyone want to burn a room down just becaue they make a lot of noises????come on people atleast make up a good one.......

a blazing tragedy

The third day of raya went out with a Bang...literally....my hostel was on fire..to top it of..it was near my friend's room where I ussually hang out....It was scary since I was just there a few hours back.....the fire started around 10-11 pm...Thank God I was in my room n Farhana (my roomate) went back to tell me about the fire.....the whole hostel was evacuated...when I get out (I only had the time to grab a jumper n wear my slipper) we went to the side of the hostel and see that the fire was blazing out of the room....I was so scared at the time....didn't even feel the chill at that time....not to mention that there were pieces of something bursting and landed on the ground....the firefighter took their own sweet tome to do everything.....after a while my feet cann't feel anything since it was preety cold outside (nearing 3 I think) we were the herded to the front of the hostel...then to the Latin building before we were able to get back inside.....my room was dark since they cut the circuit around the unit.....we are still wondering what started the fire....

Today when I had a looked at Tasha's room it was horrible...all the paneling which was done by plastic is melted...their room is blacken (not a surprise since we can see smoke coming out of their window during the fire)...but nothing was burn badly in their room...just the smjoke n Jelaga.....but their bathroom was totaly in ruin.....Ecstasy (their cat) died in the fire..I think it was the only casualty.....I sometime imagine what will happen if I was the one there that night...the plan was that Tasha n Sarah will leave the room n I will room-sit the room...that would mean that I will be all alone that night when the fire happen.....I just Thank ALLAH that they were there and everything was OK......Tasha n Sarah was temporary moved to 1st hostel....we're doing everything we can di to help them.....

Ok you listen to what happen right...now it's the time for me to voice out something that disturb me.....the hostel admin just install new smoke detector.....none of us..I repeat NONE of the student heard the bloody thing blast off...not even a beep came out from the blasted thing....what the hell was that thing there for then if not to warn us...people inside the building that the were fire in the building...then another thing is the fire extuingisher (sp??)...some of my friends who were one of the first on the scene tried to put out the fire but the damn thing just puff out 2 time n koing already...what the hell...isn't the fire department suppose to checked the damned thing every year......and another thing is there's no damn(sorry bout the curses but I'm just so angry..and this is better than other 4 letter curse words) emergency light in the stair..I mean we climb up to our room in darkness....there should be emergency light so it can guide us when for instance there's no light durinng the emergency...stupid russian....ani ochen gluupi..

Happy Eidul-Fitr

Selamat Hari Raya everyone....sorry for the late wishes..only haed this time to get my hand on a conected computer.....so I celebrate Raya in Padfak this year...beranngan kononnye bgalik kampung la....so arrive kat padfak at around 5pm...Ain n Lyn already had dinner waiting for me...Thanks guys....All of us were suppose to cook up something for the FEAST the next mornning...so I join Dila, Ain n Lyn to do the SOTO...hahahaha...can you beleive it.....SOTO in Kusrk.....

Anyway I did the BEGEDEL (little meatball to go with the dishes).....and Ain was 'carik'ing the ayam for the soto....and then we cooked the BEGEDEL...with some casualties to the BRGEDEL population while we were cooking them.....we also had help from the new student....Ain, Bibi, kak Nazirah, Syarifah and others...thanks guys.....It was so tiring....Me n Dila did the soup for the Soto...we finish around 3 am....sigh...I'm half way dead.....n then woke up at 6 coz somebody knock on the door....didn't even hear the 5 am alarm.....so called my parents in MALAYSIA....miss them so much...had a great talk with my uncles n aunts on my father side.....well acctualy my parents called me since I couldn't get a hold on them....Woke up the next morning at 9 (URGH!!!!hate waking up when you hadnn't had a good sleep).....

The morning call came from Zaid, who asked us to go to Raya prayer...but since I couldn't I wanted to sleep some more...but the other girls were busy in the kitchen n I had to go n wash b4 everyone flooded the toilet....so I had a shower first....iron my clothes.....n help the girls....Tinie was reheating the curry she cooked last night for the Mee Curry...the SOON for the SOTO was being cooked...n last minute food prep are on the way...we had the padfak to ourselves since all the boys went to the Raya prayer.....around 9am I called my parents again to speak to my mother side of the family....as ussual both of my family boast on how good their foods are for the raya...what kind of food...and all that stuff....hahahahaha...the joke is acctualy on them as we also have great foods...we had Rendang, Ketupat, Kuih Raya (London Almond, Bahulu, Popiah gulunng, Pagoda, n kerepek Ubi), Soto, mee Curry, Ayam Percik, Ayam Masak Merah.....see...we then gather around and stuffed ourselves silly......It was a great day...

what to write???

I wanna write about a lot of things..but sitting in front of the comp now in the CC building in my university...I don't have the faintest idea what to talk about...I really should fix my laptop conection..I sound dumb right now...at least with the net by my bedside I could let all the fabolous(in my dream) thought in my head be shared with the whole world...ahaks

went to Farah's blog just now...new layout n cool new poems....wish I had the time and..well basicly just the TIME to do all that and renovate my own blog...well patom..patom, sup skatom...

Faiz(my bro) msg me and told me that Umi had bought a Gen2...of all the cars...sigh...guess my dad JUST HAD to agree with her...

Nasi goreng tom yam

Today I woke up at 3pm....all because of Desperate houswives marathon last night....end up sleeping after 6...I think...anyway yeasterday went and bought a new washing machine with Sue and Farhana (junior)...first we went to texno sila..the w/machine we wanted was already sold...so we then went to El-dorado....where..I asked AMir and Malik to come and be our translater....there wasn't any that we like so we end up going to this LG shop...there we had a lot of choices since they had a sale going on...so we end up buying one...anyway that machine arrived this morning and we put it at tasha's room....we previously want to put it at Sue's room but since Tasha had space..we put it there.....

About me....

Reading about yourself from somebody elses perspective is kinda weird.....I mean I as a person would love to see how other interpreted me....I mean I always had a view of other peoply..call it 6th sense..or woman intuation...but I believe I can always read people....I mean not the I-can-read-your-future kinda thing...just the Psychic (word learn in Psycho class...and I'm not really sure what it really mean..just a vague description of it) of the people..weird huh...but I really had this fascination of trying ti figure out what other people think about me...It doesn't mean that I care about what they think aboit me..just what do they think I am as a person...Am I good, bitchy, loud, trustfull, backstabber, loner, party girl, the clown???? I personally like people said it to my face (literally) on how they feel about me...cause I really hated when they say something behind my back...you know how it is..You'll be the last to know...and that only happen when you notice people looked at you in a different way....

Anyway...I read a friend's blog (http://leafiephoenix.blogspot.com) and her view of me....I really thanked her for that...and her tagging me...Thanks a lot Farhan a.k.a Farah a.k.a leafie.... I mean she's my e-friend....but I got a whole new perception on the world....love the work she done....she's a great girl....would love to meet her up one day...before she fly away to another european cities....

I was in a mood to blab a whole lot of Psychoanalytical stuff on myself...but I had a different urges now...watching some anime...hehehehe..and I said Fadzil was the fickle head

Physio

YESSS!!!!...I've passed my physio and anat...yea!!!I got 4 for physio n without cheating........alot (I just a few question je la..tak tiru pun)....kekekeke.....and now I am at my friend's room which is in chaos since there is a lot of ppl...and they trying to sell kad raya..and ppl trying to get massage..n ppl trying to study...n ppl just talking...kekekekke...tonite will be Desperate Houswive marathon

Hypertension

ARGHH!!!!!total hypertension coming up right ahead....This Thursday is worse than ever....ussually I got Physiology, Nursing Therapy (in hospice) and the rest is ok la....but tomorrow..I have MAJOR for Anatomy...and it's one of the most confiusing topic...The brain n CNS (central nervous system)...Man....I hope I can keep my eyes open long enough to study tonight.....that's like 3 big topic to study at the same time tonight...wish I can split myself into 3 then put them back together...welll wish me luck then

I passed yesterday biochem MAJOR....thank god...I thought I fail coz the passing mark is 60 n I only got 56...thank God he (Yuri) lowered the passing grade...I think becoz most of us got 50ish...hahahahaha...Have to study harder next topic (Glycolysis)..Groan.....

Wedding Bells

Yesterday was stupid....after finishing my CC session I went to university to do some xerox for biochem lecture notes...at the xerox machine while I waited for my notes to finish 1 Arab guy n his friend (don't know wether arab or Russian) came and start concersing in Russian..So I didn't paid any attention to them..then suddenly this Arab guy whispered in his friend's ear..then the other guy called out a name "Ahmad"...the thing is that name is for a person that I had had a crush on...everyone in my group knows, n also some of my other friends (great dla now everybody knows)....the thing is I never thought anybody from his circle knew about it...If this people knew does that mean that he knew too????ARGH!!!!!.....I was so 'cuak' after hearing the name...but I become more scared that they started to converse in English (I was the only foreigners around there) and start talking about this chick in association with Ahmad....I didn't look up and run after that...I couldn't face it....

That night I told Farhana (my roomate) about the incident...she told me that a few weeks back a story had been circulating about Ahmad...It seems that he had gotten married to a Euro chick....but nobodies know from which country.....there goes another happy ending in the chapter of my life....

Lecture

I am so confussed today...woke up at 10am in Ain's room and have to rush back to my hostel to shower n go to class..that mean I miss the first lect at 11...then I had biochem at 1pm...I don't know why I'm so 'dolty' today...I thought the lecture was at 2pm....I'm fucked up....now I have like an hour and a half to kill.....mustbe the fried rice yesterday....

Nasi lemak

Yummmmm...had a wonderful "buka puasa" in Padfak yesterday...Masak nasi lemak Kursk style.....but poor Lyn...she lost her purse to a pickpocket...but then as friends we'll do our best to cheer her up....

So the 5 of us (Ain, Lyn, Fadzil, Razis n me) plan to break our fast together...Razis did the nasi lemak...ain buat sambal belacan udang (droollll)...Lyn help with the 'ikan bilis'....I made 'Lala masak cili' (mussles in chilies)we had over 6 pots of rice in the rice cooker...and of course the eggs (mata kerbau, 1/2 done)...sedap gile....lyn pun lupa trus psl masalah die kejap...anyway I had a stomach ache that night...not from the food but from all the hilarious jokes n stories from that night....auchh.....

Pening kepala

I'm trully out of depth now...I don't know what to do with my laptop...short of asking Ami to buy a a NEW LAN card and send it to me here in Kursk...I don't know how to fix this problem....yeah you guees right...My internet is still not working....sigh....make me want to throw the laptop away..but considering that there is no GREAt laptop here..I just have to settle...either wait till I get to go to Moscow or just wait till summer and I'm back in Malaysia......

I am now at the mercy of my parents since my shcolarship is finnished....so have to asked for them for my monthly allowance...it's been a year since I haven't done that...It is gonna be hard....No more shopping for the sake of having fun....sigh...can't wait for the next installment on December....come on Dla..only 2 months left.....

Great day ahead

Hmmm...so long since I open the internet....my damn LAN card is having a prob..or probably y laptop...just have to wait till this weekend...then we'll know...so sorry to those people who's been given me msg n everything...I'll get back ASAP..

today is a great day coz I got 5 in Physio..YEA!!!!!I mean I'm the only one..hehehhe...bangga la plak...ish tak baik tul dla ni.....kekekkekeke.....Cayo...cayo...hv to maintain this point.....

Thanks to Kak Hir coz letting me borrow her laptop

Across the ocean

Well my journey from Malaysia to Kursk was very intresting...The journey from KLIA was eventfull since I saw that my former roomate (and my mortal enemy) was going on the same plane as I did...but then I had the time to point out to my parents that that was her and her boyfriend...anyway..my parents and Ieki send me off since my flight was on 0745...Ieki was crancky since he was awaken so early in the morning....I met up with Lyn first and then Ain to check in..good thinking..since we got our seat next to each other....my hand luggage was being taken into the baggage claim..and now it is lost...sigh....I do hope my parents won't find out (plz don;t watch this blog Ayah) coz I'm trying to sort it all on my own....

Anyway...the transit in Doha was uneventfull except that I met with this lovely old man who used to leave in Indonesia and is going back to Germany..he was so sweet and trying to talk to me in Bahasa..and we left him at Doha when our flight arrived first....The flight from Doha wasn't as comforatble since there's this two Russian who sat behind us and started drinking and talking loudly..but the movie was good.Hitch...and there's this documentry that I wanted to warch called "Around the world in 80 treasures" I really wanted to watch it but had been starting to developed a headache from the noise behind me..when I popped in the panadol the stewardess gave me I was tottaly zonked..I think I watch untill the 5th treasure....hehehehe....

and when we land in Domodinovo Airport we were taking our lagguge(sp??) from the overhead storage thing when Ain said "Spasiba" to this Russian who was helping her..then he said "Sama-sama"..Lo and behold..thar guy could talked in Malay....and we had a conversation that sounded like a "How to talk in Malay" kind of video..it was hilarious...we were saying everything in Baku....He said he already lived in Malaysia for 12 Years....and he was doing his PhD in UIA..I was very impress...but seeing that Malay is a very easy language..I'm not surprise if he can speak it if he just stayed there a whole year....

From the airport we took mushroot (a kinda van) for the 300++km back to Kursk...man..my back and butt ached from all those jostling around in that van..and it took us almost 9 hours to reached Kursk...And when we reached Kursk at 9, I started unpacking and sorting my stuff out...and I went to my first class at 2pm the very same day.....It was pretty much interesting...till latere then

Going Back to KURSK

Today will be the day that I'll be going back to KURSK...my flight will be on 0745..man that mean that I hv to be at the airport at 5 am...I hope there won't be any energetic kids behind my seat on the plane....I plan to sleep the whole journey IF there;s no good movie around..and lets hope that the stewards is cute...

Till later then..I'll be sendings news from Kursk, Russia

Madly in Love

I do think I have a thing for guys with platinum blond hair and wicked..wicked attitude...seriously...Today marks the day that I fall head over hill for Spike...and get this...while he was singing too....so my 2 favourite guys right now would be Spike ( idon't even know his real name) and Tom Felton (the guy who plays Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter) both of them are trully bad boy...but with a soft side that neither want to acknowledge...I don't know wether it's their bad boy attitude or just some primal attraction..but MAN...do I ever have a HUGE crush on these guys......

I totally need to grow up and out of this endless infatuation....sigh....

Thief alert

What a day I had...so I've been up alnight trying to finish this great book by Erich Segal called Doctors...and lo and behold it's already 5.30 in the morning..when suddenly I heard someone screaming "Pencuri!!! (thief)" at the top of her lungs..Man it was scaryso I ran outto mymother bedroom and she was like hyterical or something....i went and check the front door..it was unlocked!!!what the hell...then I woke Faiz up..and Umi was tring to call the police...but I think all the shouting from my mom had made the thief ran away...so we look around if there is something missing..yes there is....my newly purchased LAN card adaptor...I was so pissed...what the hell...the only thing I really need when I get back to Kursk and you stole it..You low-down yellow-belly ba***rd....I like to chop ur hands off....anyway that guy didn't enter our house since my mom purse that was laying nearby the door had not been stolen..[what kinda stupid thief does not open an unlocked door but instead steal from the windows]...so the police came and we made the report...found out that Faiz actually left the door unlocked...Geezz...and he didn't wake up when my mom shouted....anyway..guess I have to go to Low Yatt again to buy the card...damn...and I'm short of money too....

Chatterbox blues

I open my blog after writing a long (look below) story..then to my surprise me chatterbox was missing..it said that my name is not in the database...boo hooo....so I had to do it all over again..sigh....anyway it's finish now...so everybody leave ur msg there..or else....you guys (you ppl know who you are) better cntc me...(eventhought I don't regularly update my blog..hehehehe...I don't care...ahaks)

Merdeka!!!

Today is the 31st of August....MERDEKA!!!..that mean that all over Malaysia the Malaysian people will celebrate the day that our nation achieve it's independence...the goverment had always been about reminding us about the hardship that our forefathers had to endure to achieve this freedom that we have now...but the things is do they really think that today generation feel the same way about merdeka...

I mean now we have been free for 48 years...an entirely new generation had emerge..the new milenium generation...and beleive me..we never had felt the hardship that our former generation felt...in those day a luxurious meal is ubi kayu (yam) with same coconut shaving and sambal.....today....hah!!!those foods are consider for those really poor peoples....the luxury food is all the great food from the hotels..and great restorans also some really great food stalls....do you see the difference...they also have curfew back that..not to mention all the restriction on their life....don't fight the goverment (wait...that still is the same now..hehehe)....you can't voice out your opinion about how the british goverment treat the Malaysian people...and oh so much more.....this day there's no way that the goverment can shut the people up..if the goverment try to do something to restrict it..heaven forbid..they are going to hear all about this rights and that rights......There's to many different things that is happening now that we really can't relate to the people that had sacrifice a lot to their cause...to free the Malaysian (but back then it was Malaya) people from the hands of the foreign dictatorship....I mean we don't have to worry about our life now like they used to...and we didn't sacrifice our life for this cause......honestly saying I don't think my generation can relate to the hardship before...

so I think the only think we think about merdeka is that there will be a HUGE concert and fireworks later on...is this really what they should aspect everytime Merdeka time come around...of course they will show this movies and tv series about the hardship they endure to achieve Merdeka....but really like we don't have other chanels to switch to...cause really those movies are sometime so boring....I don't think we will know how they felt unless.....the goverment shut off the electricity for the whole night and no one can eat anything else except ubi....they also can't go out at night and they will be heavily punnish if they disobey any of the above mention rules.....hah!!! how's that....

But I'm babling now.....anyway...I just wanna wish all MALAYSIAN.......SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA KE-48.....MEDEKA!!! MERDEKA!!! MERDEKA!!!

Full House

My whole sibbling had come home for the school holiday....first it was Ana on Friday...Faiz on Saturday and Faris on Sunday....and now we're only waiting for Ayah to come home from Kuching on Friday...then the house will be full again....It's good clean fun when we are all together...it's just that sometime it's get to noisy....what's with Fikri running amok trying to get all of our attention....Faris trying to turn the channel to watch the football match..me trying to watch MTV..my mom trying to watch Travel and discovery.....Whew...it's tyring....it's better to be with the books....ahhh...love them...without my whole faily trying to hog the TV..I can't even finish reading a whole book in one day...a fact that disstress me a whole lot...I wanna read some more..maybe I'll go out tomorrow.....

balik kg..woo..ooo

went balik Kampung yesterday..all my uncles are there...well..not all..only 3 out of 5..so not bad..anyway everytime I went back with them there I'm gonna get something good...and trully I did...Man Isam cooked the best grilled fish ever...and the lunch was fabulous..we had 4 type of Sambal...2 fishes...2 type of soup...and how many ppl are eating???only 12 ppl....I am so FULL!!!!

Watched AF3..final elimination round...didn't agree with the result..but then, hey..I didn't vote so..whatever...

Twisted

another boring day..but alot worse coz I got a headache...I guess I had that coming coz I slept late..well I watched this movie staring Ashley Jude called "Twisted"..about a woman inspectorwho had atraumatic experience when her father went into a killing spree and killed her mom then killed himself....it's get worse when she was promotted to inspector male bodies star to turn up and all those guys had had sex with her before...the twist at the end was really good that it never occoured to me..then I knew why I really like that movie..the director is the same one working for CSI..now that is another topic worth talking about...yesterday was the Season 5 finale..and it was great...especially since it was done by Quentin Tarantino..I really like his work..It was fabolous..he didn't stray too much away from the ussual CSI..there's just an added intensity..you just have to watch it..It was great....

mobility

I can't use my laptop coz I think I misplace the charger..now how stupid is that...and I can't do much about it...I dunno..can you buy a new charger for it...I have to search the whoe house again...

I read about an article that is really weird...There are people out there that is sending theire blog to outer space for E.T to read (persuming they know our language and can read it)..It's a free blogging service and I got the address but I'm not giving it now cause I'm to lazy to get up from this chair..I give it to you guys later...anyway...this ppl who handle the site will transmit all the blog to outer space to reach the "people" out there...hmm...I wonder what those alien think about blogging...would they think that humans are stupid cause we tell strangers our deepest feeling and thought yet the people that is close to you know nothing of you...or would they think that we arelonely human being and need to find a higher meaning to life...that's why we beaming our thought into space hopefully wanting another living form to acknoledge us..so we don't think that we are the only one in this universe....why does human needed company so much..they couldn't function well enough alone...why do we need to confirm that there are someone out there....and what do we do when we do find them....

sitting

I'm bored, "baby-sitting"ing my lil sis and house-sitting too....well not much life around me nowadays....went to clear my passport problem...interogation and all...and they said "we'll get back to you in 3 weeks..and then we'll tell you wether you can get a new passport or not"..how 'bout that...and I had to wait for 2 hours for that..stupid birocratsy(sp??)

I tried calling Sarah today and found out that she was out of town..literally...she is having the time of her life in Bali right now...WAAA!!! I'm bored and sitting at home and she went to Bali...hehehehe...no matter..I'll just hope that my family holiday planning will get through (cross finger)..Ohhh...and Ain called me today..acttualy I called her first..then I said I call her later at night cos if I kept on talking my parents gonna kill me since I was using my home phone...then Ain dicided to call me..so we end up talking quite long about everything under the sun...can't wait for her to get here...Ain...cepat la turun KL...jom kite jln2 sampai kite dua-dua cramp kaki...hehehhe...both wanted to go oout..but both don't have the stamina to walk a lot...

New Cuz...

Faris my second younger bro got back from his boarding school for today....and on the way back we went to GIANT to get my mom her soda and juice I met up with my uncle(Man Umar) and his wife(Aunty Ina) wirth their new child (Amir)...he looked so cute...Man Umar was quite surprised to see me..he thought I wouldn't be back for a long time...then we had a little chat and he invited me to his new house..and I said I would come by at night....so bought our grocery and got back to order Domino's Pizza(YUM!!)

If I keep eating like this I will surely be like a ballon soon...just have to wait till dis sunday..till I meet my x-classmate from Jasin...can't wait to meet them...anyway...when in Man Umar's house (he moved to this apartment lot) he served me MILO...my first MILO in Msia..YUM...we were talking at the same time trying to watch Malaysian Idol (eyes rolling) and me trying to play with Amir...he's so cute...he looked more like Aunty Ina then Man Umar..but then he said not...Amir was real sweet to me..he was playing the shy child..and giving this oh so cute smile..the only thing missing was a blush...and his parents were like "aaa..mula la tu start dah act mengada2 dia tu"..and I was like..he isn't ussualy like this??..they said he ussualy had mood swing...I said he must have got it from my side of the family then...

Man Umar also introduce me to this auction site => www.lelong.com.my it's sort of like an ebay..but Malaysian style...I'm trying to change my phone...I'm looking for a Motorola V3....if worse come to worse I just by this Nokia phone..3series I think..I'm not sure....so I'll check this site out first then I'll get back to you guys..CIAO

Back at last

Phew!!!...atlast I reached home...Kuala Lumpur..Malaysia...hehehhe...so glad to be back home....did I did what I plan to do...yup...When I got back home the first thing I did was eating Ikan keli...YEA!!...I know plan to eat KFC first but didn't stop at KFC on the way back...anyway there's no KFC that open at 2/3 in the a.m right???I ordered a double chesseburger for lunch and I got lamb chop for dinner...and today's lunch is my fav vegi and KFC for dinner....My I really have to watch what I'm eating....guess I'm finish with my eating binge for now anyway...

The trip from kursk to moscow was pure horror...from moscow to doha was alright..but from doha to KL was tiring and frustating..but also quite FUN...hehehehe (right Ain)...mytravelling days will be put on soon...can't do it now...am now chatting with Ain..hehehhe

Here I come!!!

I'm coming home...I'm coming home..I'll be back in Malaysia in about 48 hours..YEA!!!!We're taking the Mashrut(a kinda long van) to the airport in Moscow..then we'll be flying with Qatar Airline (not going with this airline next year)..then a 13hours (GROAN!!) transit in Doha...and I will arrive in HOT Malaysia on the 11th of July 2005 at 1 a.m...hahahaha...pitty those who are going to pick me up..and it's a Monday morning to boot...hehehehe...but I can't wait....Yea!!!making sandwiches for the trip to Moscow (8 hours maaa...gerenti laparnye) now.....Sarah will be staying alone for about 24 hours...then she'll be leaving too..Don't worry girl..see you in KL rite???Go and kaco your brother when you get bored k......

MALAYSIA...HERE I COME ~xoxoxoxoxoxoxox~

Dah abis dah...

YEA!!!..I'm so happy..I finally finish my exam...I had to resit for my organic chem paper today...finally it's finish and I can enjoy this leisure time with my friends...the test went pretty well except that the lecturer did walked alot..i mean can't they just sit down....hehehehe....went out with Hir, Lyn and Sarah...first we went to eat at Dombita (just the ussual bread and crab salad) then off to Rinak to find dresses for Hir....then didn't found any that she like...so off we went to Linia....(it's sort of like Carefour back in Malaysia...Ahhh...civilization again....

movie marathon...I think I'm going to make myself dummer being like this....

OK this is crap..I just deleted like a whole paragraph...ARHHH!!! and I'm not in the mood to re do it again..just because I go along as I typed.....Blogger should have the "undo" button...so ppl who made stupid mistake like me can correct ourselves...[such fun to have those button in the real world...then we can undo all our mistakes...but without doing those mistakes...are we the same individual that we are now...hmmmm...]

Waiting..and waiting..and waiting...It seem that time move so slowly nowadays...I guees everytime you're waiting for something that you really want to happen, time really move slowly...I can't wait t get back to Malaysia...5 more days to go..sigh...I feel so bored right now...eventhought I have to study for my paper I have this Wenesday...I still am bored because there is nothing to do..Last night was another movie marathon with Sarah, Lyn and Hir...we watched "What dream may come"(wdmc) and "Mr. Destiny"....wdmc is a real good movie...it's a Robin William film..so I thought it's going to be a boring and complicated film...but acttualy it was kinda deep and thoughtfull...it make you really think...and It was a sad movie too...I really like this movie...never thought I would like it...hahahaha...I forgot while waiting for Hir to come we (Sarah, Lyn & me) thought that we will do this Karaoke thingy...hehehhe..but the mic didn't work...so we just sang along with the karaoke cd...and Sarah recorded it into her laptop...hahaha..I think we're going to send it for a demo...and when Hir heard us singing she said.."ehm..trus kena reject"....it is still boring..but atleast i have alot of ppl to have fun...Earlier that afternoon..Ain wanted to go to the Rinak(market) but when I meet her at the ATM I suggested that we went to go window shopping..then we were hungry so we end up at DUDU (The only Halal restorant in KURSK)..and when we looked at our clock..already 4 o'clock..so the Rinak is already closed...so much for buying groceries...

comitment

YOU WILL BE MARRIED BY: Saturday, July 4, 2009

that's what tickle says anyway....hahahahaha!!!!

Jeans

Can't keep my mind of Malaysia...just wanna get home A.S.A.P...it even get into your dream...hehehehe..keep dreaming of all the foods that I've missed..I've already plan what I'm gonna eat when I got back to Malaysia...firstly KFC..I want a box of KFC waiting for me..and then on the way back from the airport stop at a MAMAK stall and drink MILO ais and eat roti nan/canai...then wait untill morning and eat NASI LEMAK for breakfast...and all of this eatinng will be done during the first 6 hours of myself in Malaysia...hehehe...and for lunch..ikan KELI and MASAK LEMAK CILI PADI....yummmm....

planning all this eating when I should plan my exercise regime...went out to buy jeans with Ain and Chui Phin on Monday..but I was depressed...why..cause I can't get a jeans..I mean I could have go and search for other shops..but I like this shop...and why couldn't I find a jeans there...cause my thigh is BIG...trully...there this one jean that can fit my thights...but the waist was really loose and I don't like the color..so no luck there...what the hell...it's as thought all the weight I lost went to my thights...ARGH!!!it's frustating...ohh but enough about my unsatisfied self....I have to study tonight...weteher I want to or not..cause one more paper to go...Organic Chemistry..and then I'm free..and I can go shopping...YEAAA!!!

Books

It was supposed to be a quick visit to the bookshop to buy a Cellotape..but then...we started to browse all this bookshelves...and then I started to feel like dying....why??? cause there are many books there and it's so cheap and I want them..BUT..they are all in RUSSIAN....ARGHHH!!!!!!I mean there are tons of books there that just got me itching to buy....Dan Brown's "Da'Vinci Code" hard cover was like only RM30...and it's hard cover...and then there are this set of Harry Potter books (5 all of them)...hard cover..and it's only RM90/100....man oh man....the only place to get English book..is in this great big store...but they don't have alot of choice...less than 20 good english book...no wonder I'm going out of my mind here...I need my daily dose of books..and I have nothing here....the next time I come here I'm gonna bring half of my books from home with me...I don't care..I rather die of hunger than without reading good books....

Had to post this just because.....any guy who look like this...can send me a msg anytime...reply are assured


You like the prince charming type.


What kind of guy are you most attracted to? (CUTE anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Had to post this one....


You are the depressed/dreamer anime girl.You either
lost somebody you love or somebody broke you
heart so bad that you can't pick up the
shattered pieces without hurting yourself.You
think nobody can heal your wounds but don't
stop looking because you never know who loves
you enough to try hell the one special guy
could be right infront of your eyes and you
don't even know it.You also love to day dream
because it seems like the only place that makes
you happy.But little do you know that people
all around you are trying to make you happy and
you won't let them in fearing you'll get
another heartbreak or get hurt worse.But just
try and if things go wrong just brush it off
and try again.It never hurts to try.One more
thing never let that lost love one leave you
heart keep them in forever and keep their
memory alive.


If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by Quizilla

quiz

as you can see..I am now filling my blog with stupid quiz...hehhe...they are acttualy intertaining...if only this bloody stupid screen will stop blinking....I don't get it...what the hell's happening...refreshing too slow....whatever...got some good/funny/childish/soapy/what-ever-you-guys-might-kinda-think story...but not in this post anyway..hehhee

toad???

You are a Toad - croak! Meaning you are a
fairly, normal person (well,if you can all
anyone normal - that is.) You are mostly a
happy person, getting on with your life with
only a few croaks and moans along the way. You
are also a very, practical person and probably
quite a hard worker. You enjoy the simple
things in life like the company of your
friends, going shopping or to the cinema,
reading a good book and being with your family
or loved one.

Your good points are that you
are even tempered, fairly happy go lucky and a
good friend to have around. Your bad points are
that you sometimes lack the drive to succeed,
being happy with what you already have. Which,
really isn't such a bad point at all.

Mostly
content with your life, you are a happy,
well-rounded person.


Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Dream guy

You like Bad Boy
Draco!

Bad Boy Draco, is the
ultimate Bad Boy! Always ready with that sexy
little sneer of his and a witty retort on his
tongue, Bad Boy Draco just oozes sexiness! Bad
Boy Draco just loves antagonising other people,
acting mysterious and being the coolest wizard
on earth! Bad Boy Draco can be found almost
anywhere! In Hogwarts, in the muggle world, in
fact just about anywhere! All that matters is
that when you see him, he will have that ever
so sexy smirk of his on his lips and danger
glinting in his eyes. Bad Boy Draco is also
very possessive!

You love him because under
that Bad Boy exterior, you know he is a good
boy at heart! And you want to be the one to
change him! Bad Boys are really so much more
fun!


Which Draco Malfoy would you fall for? With Scrumptious Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

Dream guy

Russian Kuey Teow

weird

heard something funny today...Chui Phin said I'm such an open minded person and like to see the Positive side of things (hey...I'm quoting here...it's not like I'm lifting my own basket)...hehehe...well couldn't really tell her that I have this deep dark secret now could I....but of course I won't tell you guys...hehehe(and that remind me of someone else)...and because of this secret, I tried to see all thing positive...I mean why wollow on the muds and holes when you can fly...why put on a face that everyone would hate,when you can make ppl around you smile...I don't mean that I would do anything if anybody ask me to make them happy...just that I wouldn't mind doing something that make me happy n others around me feel great...and not for their benefit alone...I really don't like ppl around me making fuss and feel bad about themselves...I mean you can do that..but don't do it in front of everyone...cos then the ppl around you going to get sucked down with that negative feeling...I don't know it feel like a sin to me to pull someone that is in a high pedestal down to your standard just because you feel down...so forgive me if I ran away from ppl like that...not that I really care if they are my friends...coz if I ran away..then who could cheer them up...right????

EXAM!!!!!!

hahahha...in the middle of exam and I can still write blog...hehehe..better blogging than watching DVD rite???...so 3 more paper to go...finish biophysic last week...Thank God I got 4 (the equivelent of A- in Malaysia) and my result for General Chemistry paper will be out tomorrow...so finger crosses everyone!!!anyway..the 3 paper will be Biology, Latin and Organik chem....the most scary paper...that would be Bio...so tonite I have to start studying...hehehe..ckp je tu..tgk la kang....Have to finish Star wars III first....

So upset this evening..not because of Chem paper..but because my damn DVD drive is going berserk...everytime I try playing DVD on it it keep "hang"ing up...stupid...I was so frustated that I went to Lyn's room and borrow her laptop..and finnaly I finish watching the movie....and just when I started to go to sleep Fadzil call me up and needed somthing (as ussual..mana ade benda lain lg dia nk kalo kol aku)..neway bile dh kena kaco tu takde la aku mood utk tidur..lalu turun la ku kebawah dan berjumpa dgn Kak Murni yg mengajak aku mkn Kari ayam di kafe bawah...KAKAKAKA..feel like I'm talking crap...

Zachut

hahaha...almost finish my zachut...only two more to go..and both are because of my album...yeah..yeah...I know..I'm not the world greatest artist....Kinda weird cause Umi (my mom) is an architect...guess I miss out on that gene..but I can aprreciate arts nonetheless....anyway....my Histology album only needed 8 more picture which is small and uncomplicated...but my Biology album...well that's another story to tell....

Just watch "The Hitchiker's Guide to The Galaxy"...a very interesting film...knowing that man is only the THIRD most intelligent being in our planet....supposedly there's two more animals that are more intelligent than ME...one of them I kinda acknowledge..but the other..I don't know...make me wanna laugh...guess Stuart Little isn't that far fatched anyway..I am not gonna tell you which animal it was..cause then I'll be spoiling the whole movie experience for you guys...The movie is quite good...This is where the part I could say to Fadzil "HAH!!..You're wrong there are british movies that are GOOD"...he and his American...ok here's a little synopsis: The earth was destroyed to make way for a Galactic By-Pass (luv it when the alien anounce about it to the whole world)...and out of all the human being on this planet...two person Arthur and Trisha was saved from this catastrophic event...and guess what Arthur is fallin' for Trisha..but they were saved by different ppl...Arthur by his alien friend whom he once saved...and Trisha by a guy who is actualy the Galaxy's president (remind me of some president I know)...neway they had this great adventure trying to find out what is the meaning of Life...and you guys won't beleive what they found.....

Hope you guys will enjoy the movie...

MELODY partII

what did I tell you 'bout all those melody in the head that won't let you go...hahahha..poor Ain...she was haunted by my song...and guess what she did...she woke me up from my nap (more like sleeping..i would say) and called me up to say she found out what's the tittle of the song and the artist....so to anyone who like me is trying to find this song...Let me fee you from you're totured soul...hehehe

Find a Way
by J-Five
You know when I was a little kid
All I ever wanted to
Is make something bigger outta my life
And I been forgotten like the rest
So check it ! There's a light at the end of the tunnel
Humble beginnings in a fight to the finish
Hangin' on with a grimace
Giveth the look of God
When told faith is fraud
Cause you gave it all you had
So why won't they applaud ?
Wrong again ! Bitter sweet Hard to stomach if you love it
Not a friend But a puppet with strings attached
Dance to the beat Of a dying heart
Change your pace Cause if I keep on moving I might find a way
[Bridge] I'm alive I'll give you all my time (I'll find a way, I'll find a way)
I'll put it all on the line, hey Find a way to the light
[Chorus] Why's there gotta be a test on every breath I'm holding to make it
I'll find a way for you
There's a long road but no one will take it
I'll find a way
Why's there gotta be a test on every breath I'm holding to make it ?
I'll find a way for you
There's a long road, There's a long road, Why won't you take it ?
Can you feel the nails digging deep inside of your skin ?
Prove yourself until your dead the end but you didn't begin
And if somenone doesn ‘t reach out soon you might lose it
Cause you humbled yourself just to be proved you can't do it
Don't do it ! Don't give it up to get it back ***** that !
Put it to your chest and let your heart attack
Come back ! I ain't done trying, you're killing me softly with your words and I love dying [Bridge] [Chorus] [Bridge] [Chorus]
Damn ! (There's a long road, there's a long road) I'll find a way (x3) Outta this life C'mon ! [Bridge]
[Pont] You know When a was a little kid All I ever wanted to do It's make something bigger outta my life And I been forgotten like the rest So check it ! Damn ! I'll find a way (x3) Outta this life, c'mon Come around again I wonder if I'll make it Fortune for the soul I do what I want Let it go, no, no I won't let it go, no, no C'mon ! [Bridge] [Chorus]

4 to go...

well...a 4 more zachut to get...arghhh!!!when will this stuff finish...come on I wanna go back to MALAYSIA already....now is really a bad time fr me..I just can't keep my eyes ipen..i slept early..i wake up late..and I don't wanna touch those books....sigh...kan best kalo leh pas without taking any exam...that'll be the good life..and then everyone can be doctors..hehhehe...

I read this blog again http://anhedonicamadeo.blogspot.com/ ...realy do like the way he express himself..dunno mighta sound strange..but he ound like someone with a soul...ssh nk jumpa skang ni...

have to fiish my histo n biology album to get zachut...futhermore I have to repeat my Major parasitology...(damn u parasite cause my life in KURSK much HELLish)...and then tomorrow will be zachut for biophysic and saturday will be zachut for organik chem...let's hope I can pass all....

Ohh..and tonight Ihae to perfome for the padfak graduation...how stupid is it??well let's see...I'm a first year who is going to take an exam next week..n haven't finish studying yet...and the cocert will be tonoght which is in the middle of the week...n tomorrow i have to take my zachut...what do you guys think..is it wrong if tomorrow morning they found the bodies of all the Padfak admins and teacher on Kursk's river????

melody in my head

ARGHH!!!!it's too frustating...have you ever got this melody in your head n you can't get it out...and then when you tried to google it it won't come out....what the hell...i mean if ican't google it where else could I find it....I mean I could only get a fraction of the lyrics...not everything..cause he was singing so fast...ok so here;s what I got:

~find a way to the light
~find a way for you
~there's a long road
~why wouldn't you take it

see I told you it wasn't much...ohh...but if anyway ever heard og=f this song n know who sang this song..plzz....contact me...i really need to know....it was sung by a black guy with the sound of children on the chorus..so if you knew...let me know...

Freak feast

Just seen the new movie House of Wax...creepy I tell you...luv this type of movie...not that I'm Psycho or the sort (btul sarah..btul) its just that I am really facinated on how they mind works...do they perceive the world differently then us...if so..how???..this movie was really good (spoiler ahead)....specially the part when they kill Paris Hilton...she didn't have to do much anyway...look almost the same like her other infamous video...hehehe....but I luv the way Chad act in this film...not to mention the Heroin (forget her name already..Chad blocking her from my mind)...it was a great psycho-thriller...I screamed a lot..so it was good....

you always ask your self wether ppl can be that stupid in real life....I mean will you stay alone in a creepy house full of wax figurine that look TOO real alone...like duh...I'll be gone faster than you can say "dla is the greatest living person in the whole wide world"....get what I mean...and anyway why the hell would you go back to the house where you're boyfriend was kill...I mean..obviously the killer would be there....and another thing...do u really think you can sweet talk a guy who make a wax figure on real human being before they even die....what on earth were they thinking....sometime I wish they could make a REAL psycho-thriller...not with those stupid things that were done there....

From all the Psycho movie I watch..I got this one hypothesis...AMERICA is full of NUTCASE...don't beleive me???..The Texas chainsaw massacre...wrong turn....and now the house of Wax...I know they have disfunctional family..but jeez wheeze...do they have to be a weirdo n a killer too....

cheese...

Kak Murni's birthday today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!! actually we already celebrated yesterday with the ussual..cake..drinks...junk food...and Malik (her bro) gave away the birthday present.....

Today finish class early...so went n teman Hir to go shopping for Kak Murni present at SUM...got her a plush toy..and she liked it....on the way back went and stop by Kak Ana's apartment....look nice n comfy...I felt like I wanna move in to an aparment....but..hehehe...financial crisis..can't do it...n I alsi will miss the chaos......

well nothing much then...trying to watch "supernanny"...so I can't concentret on this..

nyet deneg...

just remember that Elyssa once said that she want to cook for the broke trio (to quote Ain)...hehehe...we'll wait for you Elyssa....

KA CHING!!!

Had my major for bio today...got 4...like Chui pin said..it was just luck I guess...don't know how long it's gonna last...let's hope it will lasst for a LONG..LONG..LONG time...like when I finish medicine altogether...my padfak classes had finish..well except for physic...not to worry...it'll be over soon....can't wait to finish and go back home...

Good news...kak Dayah said that we had an increasement in our allowance...YEAYYY....hahahaha....I'm happy...why??? cos that mean I don't have to work over the summer hols...(yeah me n my lazy ass...but a cute one tho ;p) but the thing is the check already out today....n my mom haven't tell me about it yet...hmm...wonder why...she can't do anything with it anyway...since it's already written to my bank account...hehehe....now i just have to wait for it...was just thinking that I don't wanna eat dinner no more...just because nyet deneg....at the same time...I could loose some weight also....(cross-finger)...now waiting to hear from Umi.....Umi cepat laa...

Storage

A lot had happen..I acctualy have to do a lot of blogging..especialy about he 9th of May...But then I was ung up on it cause I can't connect to my Net line anymore...jus becoz a RAT had sabotage my laptop...so I'm writing from Dayah's comp...It is so stupid...Tell you guys later..

In loving memory

Its raining outside just like it is raining in my heart...te most beloved peopleon earth whom I love just passed away...My grandmother...Nenek...you don't know how much I miss you...I didn't get to see your face for the last time...I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong to you...I'm sorry if I could have never been the greatest grandchildren for you...I'm sorry for everything...Your the greatest thing that have ever happen to me...I'm sorry if I had ever hurt you...trully I didn't mean to...I will truly miss you...you are the sunlight of my life..you had brought me..you were the one who pampered me...I will always miss the way you laugh..the way you really care for me..how you won't let me do any work ause you don't want me to be tired...how you always cooked my favourite food everytime I went to Kampung...I will miss all the advice you had give me...the love you geve me was precious and there is nothing in the world that can surpass it...

How can I live without ever seing your smiling face again...or your sweet angelic voice...and your touches and hugs..how could I live here when I know that when I get back to Malaysia you won't be there to greet me...and you wouldn't get the chance to see me as a Doctor...how can I live when you woouldn't be there to pujuk Ayah when Ayah will get mad at me...how will I live when you are not there....Who would I cium tapak tangan during raya....who will I for forgiveness during raya...who will comfort me when everything go wrong...who will be my listening companion when we talked about my aunts and uncle...and there's no more kampung for me...without you there there is nothing...who will ever comfort me when I feel bad...

I feel guilty cause I couldn't be by your side when you took your final breathe...I knew that you had called for me when you were critical...I did called to asked about you...but Umi was at home at that time...and futher more...they won't let Hp to be brought into CCU...I'm sorry...I should've called...Umi said you were getting better....I don't know what went wrong...and I'll probably wouldn't know for a long time...I was really hard broken....I don't know what to say...the most beloved person in my entire life was taken from me without me having a chance to say goodbye or to say how much I love her...I had never thought that you will be gone when I'm still here trying to fininsh medical school...it is so ironic...I don't know what to say....

Nenek...plz know this...I will always miss you..you will always be in my heart and in my prayer...you were the one who brought me up when I was little...you were the one who had the patience to layan me...to you i was the apple of your eyes...and I still am...you were the one who feed me...you were the one who nutured me...you were the one who was worried when I was sick....you were the one who took care of me...you sacrifice alot for me...and I hadn't had the chance to pay you back for everything that you had done for me....

I don't know who will layan me after this...who will back me up everytime Atuk get angry with me when I wake up late...who will cooked for me pucuk manis masak santan...who will do all the kuih from Kampung just because I said I missed eating them when I was in asrama...who will cooked my sambil tumis anymore....only your sambal was the best in the world...who will masak cucur udang and nasi goreng kampung for me when I go back to kampung....all my favourite food was your cooking....I wouldn't get a taste for it anymore...there is so much more that I will miss from you...your laughter..the way you talked..all those small,itsy bitsy stuff that you just will miss....you really knew me...

I was praying that you would hold on till I get back...but alas.. Allah love you more...and I just prayed that you will be in Heaven with the good muslim...and may you be near to Allah there....I will always pray for you...and I know now that you are with our Creator,the Almighty, may your soul be blessed...cause trully you are the nicest person I had ever encounter...Mpga Allah mencucurkan rahmat kepada Nenek..Al-Fatihah...

Psychopath???

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

I know someone whose not gonna like me so much after this...hahaha...but who cares...atleast I'm being true to myself

Anhedonia

Anhedonia

Photoshop~~~

Don't you just hated when someone uses this new technologies to piss you off...eventhought you haven't done anything wrong to them????I mean what the hell were you thinking???Did I do something to you...I don't think so...How sure am I???ask around...I don't have time to play with the bloody c**ks**ker...I rather spend my time studying thank you very much...why am I so UPSET??? here's the story...

I just knew that there's this one JERK that have taken my picture with my friend...meddle with it and posted it on our network setting...I mean how lame was that...He didn't do any of those porn stuff...but it was still humiliating cause I was associated with this girl who was "infamous"...not my cup of tea....

Now tell me I shouldn't be PISSED OFF...haha...I remember the messenger's (the guy who told me what happen) face when I reacted..he couldn't get out of Tasha's room fast enough...I think he knew what the term "killing the messenger" really mean...I was so angry...Trully I didn't do anything to that JERK...come on..why should I spend my precious time on such a LOW LIFE....I know I can't put all what I say in my heart in here (u never know if there's children around..hehe..)..but...uhhh...do I wanna kill that mutha fucka...opppss...

But 1 thing that is good 'bout this was that all of my friends back me up....they knew that the CRAZY, MUTHA FUCKA, S.O.B was psycho..I mean he'll do anything just to piss people off...and more ever I have friends...and YOU, JERK don't!!!!..

~~~~~nuff said~~~~~~~~

tag...

I got a tag board...cause if I had to wait for Sarah to do it....hmmm....let me get my calculator first....ahaks...but I would like to thanks Sarah...coz she gave me the add to the tag board what...hahahhaa...

~BBQ~....Kursk Style

WOOHOOOO!!!.....today was fun...woke up around 12..hey.it was Sunday ;p neway woke up and freshen up myself...coz we're gonna have a BBQ...whose "we"???the PPM...(Malay Student Assc.)...they had plan this gathering and all...so all I have to do is get there and eat...hehehhee....I know...not good ethics right???but I don't care...so long as I got a piece of those delicious chickens...hehehe...

The events started with the arrival of yours truly..(hahaha..angkat bakul sendiri)...then the introduction of the juniors..(yes...like they did in asrama...been there..done that..*YAWN*) then there were treasure hunting...I took it up cause I just wanna enjoy myself...my team compromise of : Kak Pipi, Zakri, Farhana (junior..not my roomate)...it was fun we were running around...Abg Ditto was cruel...he gave us the wrong clue...hehe..and we're stupid enough to beleive him...no matter...he didn't win anything tozhe...Fadzil's group should be disqualified...he's groups were: Malik, him and two more ppl I can't remember...hehe..they should be DQ cause Fadzil already knew half of the clue...i mean he helped Raziz picked out the check point..see..see...and he won third place..NOT FAIR!!! But then no matter...I still got to those chicken first...

What we had was fabolous...there were Macaroni, Spagheti, Potato Salad and the piece de'resistance =BBQ CHICKEN...hahaha...Just wanna say thanks to all the people that cooked for me..(hehehe..I'm getting lazier by the second)...Not to mention all the peoples that tended the chicken....all those smoke are worth it...GOOD JOB guys....

Grudge...

Tonight I slept at Padfak...a bit different the ussual weekend sleep over cause I had borrowed 1/2 dozen of movies to watch with Ain and Sarah...here's the list of film I borrowed....

~Ocean's 11 &12
~The Grudge (Ju-On version omputih)
~Ring 0
~Blade Trinity
~Damer (a life story about a psyco killer)

Me, Ain, Sarah, Chui Pin, Mei Tze and Jo watch The Grudge first....we all had already saw the Japanese version..Heck...I've even seen Ju-On2 (yes...it does have a continuation)...but we just wanna scare our selves...It was really fun...we had enormous fun of screaming...our screams can even be heard at Razis's room (it was far from us)...and he YM Sarah and ask why we were screaming our hads off...of course we gonna scream...when something came crawling out of the atticcovered with blood and make an awfull noise...right???anyway...Sarah didn't watch it till the end...she just went and lie next to Ain and try to sleep with me n Chui Pin screaming....Jo went out halfway also...she just couldn't stand the noise...so it was let to me,Ain,Chui Pin and Mei Tze...and we finish it of....(a BIG round of APPLAUSE)...then Ain n Sarah put their beds side to side..can u imagine???so that night the Tolka 3 slept together on 2 beds..hahhaha...and it's all bcoz of JU-ON...

I was to afraid to sleep...so I went and watch Blade Trinity..it was OK...I like the new guy thought...very charming...hahhaa...have a big day tomorrow...the PPM (persatuan pelajar Melayu/Malay student Assc) will held a BBQ...can't wait..to have free food...YAY!!!

Submarine and Church!!

Today during Russian Class in Padfak, Anactasia (our teacher) suggest we have an excursion to the memorial and church nearby as tomorrow (1st of May) will be the Easter celebration for Chrisrian Orthodox...so we went...we were glad to have any excuses to get out of class anyway....we went to the memorial that they built to remember all th losses they had during WWII....since Kursk is one of the infamous war site....and they had this fire thingy going on...it is said that the fire was never put out...and every state in Russia have one...when we were there we saw this memorial thingy with an anchor there..so we asked Anactasia what is that memorial for...The memorial was for the submarine "Kursk" tragedies....it was so sad...since there is this one tomb where the sailor was only 19 years old when he died...I felt so thankful that I can live till this day...It made you feel really mortal after that...and we went to see all the graves with some pictures on them...they really honoured their soldiers...you can see the differents between a soldier's grave and that of the normal civilliant's...

Then we went inside the church..there was a long line of people queing to get inside the church and have a chance to kiss the potrait of the saints...our group just walked in and looked inside...the church was kinda crowded...and its under construction of some kind...scafolding was everywhere..so we didn't spend a lot of time inside...but the artisity of the place was phenomenol....there were a lot of pictures of Saints and Jesus around...not to mention the angel and everything...but it feels kinda weird...cause there's no pews or anything...there's just this wall where a picture and cross were hung and there was places where you can put your candles...

when we went outside on each side of the street of the church people were queing and putting cakes and eggs on benches...Anactasia told us that a Priest will come and blessed the cake with holly water..and the cakes can obly be eaten on Easter day...The russians had been fasting (that is they can't eat dairy products and meat) for a whole week before Easter..so they gonna have a BIG feast afterwards....after being blessed by the priest..the people will give eggs to the church...it is said that the church will give this eggs to the poor....it was really fun to have been uncluded in their culture...

Tini and Fadzil are cooking for my dinner tonight...YUMMY!!! ayam masak merah...best!!!

Rose is Rose

Look what I found...I always love this comic strip...and this strip was published on my birthday (27/4)...and I always love the cat...ahaks...

A good end to a bad day...

Fuck Admin!!!!!

Stupid university's admin...I already gave you the copied for that stupid passport...why did you lost it...FUCK YOU......and you dare to tell me I hadn't gave it to you...If I hadn't this stupid university won't let me study here BITCH!!!! You guys SUCKS....wish y'all can go back to where you came from...HELL!!!!!

Long Distance Call and zZzZzZz

I am so sleepy...I need to study bio...but I can't seem to stay awake...guess have to wake up early (where have I heard that before)..Help anyone??who got variants??Kong does..but he haven't sent mine yet...haiya...bistra Konga....ahaks

Made some long distance call back home...miss my family so much...such confort in knowing that I don't have to remind them about my birthday..but then have to thanks Ika for reminding Ayah...ahaks...get to talk to my uncles..miss them coz they manja me so much...and one of them is getting married and I'm not gonna be there...AGAIN...this is what happen to people who stayed in hostels their entire teen years...broke down when I talked to my grandma...she is the one I trully missed..all those small thing she did...she's recovering from internal bledding now...hope you're doing great Nenek...Got a lot of lecturing from Ayah on how I should grow up and take more responsibility for myself..bla..bla..bla....basically all those things parents talked about...but he did say he misses me..ahaks..now u know Ayah...Also got time to talk to Umi..as usuall...all the same syarahan.... I do think that my parents didn't change notes before talking to me....cause they keep repeating the same thing...No what birthday present I want from them right now...money in my account..or a ticket back to Malaysia....bestnye....

Mou Den Rashdidinian

AHAKS...Its my birthday..I've turned 20 last night....YEA!!! should I be jumping up n down and do a little jiggy as I celebrate me being older????hmmm...Hell Yeah!!!!!Do I feel any different????Nope...same old same old....should I become more mature now that I'm 20??? NO!! why should I...I like myself the way I am thank you very much..but then I do think I have to grow up a bit...my friends are getting pretty anoyed at me n my childish side...not my fault...honestly...I got some split personality disorder going on...so its not really my fault..It's Delilah fault...HAHAHAHAHA (Delilah: It is so not my fault...she did it all by herself...I'm the mature one..not her...Perasan mature..HAH!!)

Last night was quite fun....we had dinner first...just me, Ain, Sarah, Fadzil, Elyssa, Chui Pin and Mei Tze....the dinner was great coz for the first time in almost 5 months I got to eat beef again...YUMMY...we had steak....I marinated for a whole night...and Sarah cooked for all of us and did the sauce to with the mashed potato too..ochin vekusna...Ain sponsored the mashed potato...Mei Tze and Chui Pin did the salad...Fadzil and I sponsored the beef....we eat till we almost throw up..imagine people...4kg of beef were gone that night...It was superb...the consequence was that Ain and Sarah got major headache afterward...After the dinner Fadzil made some tea (rela paksa kan???)then I watched a movie with Ain (the notebook...such sweet story...but haven't finished yet)then Razis come to talk to Sarah but Sarah was already asleep..then he asked to see Ain....and he blabed for awhile..then in come Fadzil with the birthday cake....not to mention with 2 candle on top...then everyone did the ussual...wishes...hugges....n eating...hahahha...I was quite embarassed when they came in like that...like I said..I'm a shy gurl....but everything went smoothly....well...almost everything....but its ok...and we all had great fun...accept for Sarah...coz she couldn't wake up...HAHAHA!!!...poor thing

Just wanna say...THANKS A LOT you guys...you know who you are...specially to Group 9 (Ain, Sarah, Fadzil, Lyn, Razis, Chui Pin, Mei Tze, Hir, and Kong{though u didn't wish me yet....still waiting})...and all the people in PADFAK....tanks guys and gurls....LUV y'all