.....

Life is maddening when it drag you down and suck out all he energy from you...at first you were carried by all the colourful promises and the sparkling lights...you can feel happy...and when the darkness reached out to you...what can you do???all the promises seems so empty and all the lights couldn't shine on the darkness and make it bearable...so what do you do???try to find a new source of light???try to shift thru all the promises to find just a glimer hope that can light up the way???trying to be optimistic wouldn't help when everything around you push you down and trod upon your body.....so how do you pick up all the broken pieces and glue thood em back...will it still be the same????

A song from Good Charlotte at the end of Meet My Maker

Lost and broken,
hopeless and lonely,
smiling on the outside,
hurting beneath my skin,

my eyes is fading,
my soul is bleeding,
I'll try to make it OK,
but my faith is wearing thin,

So help me heal this wounds,
they've been open for way too long,
help me fill this hole,
eventhought this is not your fault,
that I'm open and I'm bleeding,
all over your brand new rug,
and I need someone to sew them up,

I only wanted the magazine,
I only wanted the movie screen,
I only wanted the life I read about and dream

And now my mind is an open book,
and now my heart is an open wound,
and now my life is open so for all to see,

So help me heal this wounds,
they've been open for way too long,
help me fill this hole,
eventhought this is not your fault,
that I'm open and I'm bleeding,
all over your brand new rug,
and I need someone to help me,

So you come along,
and I pushed you away,
then kick and scream for you to stay,

and I need someone to help me,
and I need someone to help me,

So help me heal this wounds,
they've been open for way too long,
help me fill this hole,
eventhought this is not your fault,
that I'm open and I'm bleeding,
all over your brand new rug,

and I need someone to sew them,
I need someone to fill then
I need someone to close them off......

Different P.O.V

I just notice that as I learned how complicated the body really is, normal people still thought that the body is just a simple mechine..take this for instance;
I message Umi asking what she did after her episode of hypotension..she replied that she took Ferum to build up her Hemoglobin...I replied back that is a treatment for people with Amenia...and she replied back that as long as the bllod is ok, everything else will be OK...

I miss those innocent moments when most of our simple disease can be explain by the simple explanation like..."oh, angin je tu"....now that physilogy is almost over...you can think of various reason that you could have a headache and stomach ache....you're blood pressure is low...you're probbably hypoglycimic (low gluccose level in blood)...

And that's not yet the treatment of this peity diseases..back then it was all about "minyak kapak", Panadol, maybe some Ponstan and "minyak angin"..now most students who already taken Pharmacology in the 3rd year know which medicine to take..and the 1st and 2nd year student just asked the senior...the clinic is just there to give us MC...I guess that is just how medical students anywhere would act...why go to the clinic when you can diagnos your self and prescribe your own medicine right????

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OK today is just weird...first I had a major control for microbiology..and last night I went to watch Just Like Heaven...great movie..like the guy in it....anyway...study as ussuall try to recollect the information about actinomycetes, mycoplasma, Gram positive and negative, their structure, the history of microb and about othe miniscule organism...sight...then we got to know that the major consist of 3 part...slide preparation (make your own microb smear and try to recognize it n tell the teacher what it is)...computer test (30+ question) and oral (she ask..you answer)...and we thought that it was ONLY computer test..hahaha...in our face...thank god I pass (OK let me brag for a while...I'll delete this portion later ;) I got 65/70 in the comp test..my slide was A and I answered the oral without mistake(xcept when trying to pronounce pathologicity [does the word even exist?????]) so I got 5..which translate into Malaysian grading system is an A...Umi and Ayah you can be proud of me too...hahahahaha

Then at 3pm we had a class at Besempe hospital for Nursing Surgery classes...today was lucky coz when we arrive the doctor (our teacher is a surgeon in the purulent [amything that have pus in it] department) was about to do a procedure on a patient..they suspected that the patient have pus in his lung..the patient was 70ish and walkig with a catherer in his hand...so the surgeon give novocain first...a lot of it...then he started poking the patient lateral part of the lung trying to find the pus with a REALLY LONG & BIG needle...and he kept drawing blood..then he said that there's no pus..so he was going to send the patient to another department....then something weird happen....

I felt something trying to come out from my stomach and I remember that my teacher asked wether I'm alrite and I answer that I wasn't feeling well then I grip the bed behind me....the next thing I remember was someone slapping me, taking my pulse and rasing my leg....Yes ladies and gentelment...I PASSED OUT....and I don't know what cause it...the thing is I remember someplace dark with yellow light(you know when you drive thru KL during the night with the yellow street light passing you) and heard voices like I was sitting in a cafe or something..weird huh??? when I woke up I was woozy...they said I passed out like almost 10 minutes...and I didn't feel anything at all or remember anything for that matter...

My friend said that my eyes were rolling back...they said that I looked like I was posessed or something..and that I acttually did collapsed...the funny thing is that I didn't feel anything during the procedure..no headache,nausea or nothing...and Ain was feeling all this thing...when she stand next to me...I thought she was gonna pass out...and now...and get this they even have a video of me when I was coming to...what great friends I have as groupmate rite???now everyone will know about it by the time I got to lecture tomorrow...why???cause they already started to tell everyone they met..in the bus...in the lift...great....when I got back home I check my BP (blood pressure) it was 100/60...Tasha told me it was normal..when I got back to my room and tell Kak Farhana, she said it was low cause my norm BP was 120++..so I had a case of mild hypotension...so people

I DID NOT FAINT BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD!!!!

winter blues

Haven't been blogging for a few weeks now...and its all thanks to Mr.Depp...I downloaded The Corpse Bride and max out(actually I had overspend my limit) my internet MB for the month...and how much did it cost me to download this movies...roughly 600MB...that equal 2000 rubles and aproximately RM200....yikes...even the original don't cost that much...and because of the movie I didn't get online...but the movie was worth it....I like it..gonna burn it just as soon as I can get my hand on a blank cd....

I just started class after my 1 week of winter holiday....and what did I do???play games....watch movies....watch series....go to padfak to get more movies....yeah...boring right.....anyway bellow was some of the movies n games I played

a) Lord of The Ring:The Third Age =>PS2, 5/5, great RPG,luv the story line,give me a great headache since I tried paying it non-stop for 14 hours...ouch!!!

b)Love Story in Havard =>Korean drama series, 5/5, a great SOB story...I wanna be a doctor like Soo In Lee

c)The Perfect Score =>Movie, 3/5, a story on how some student stealing the SAT exam answer but didn't use...dummy...but the story was kinda nice....K.Murni had a theory about BITS n all..

d)Syiriana =>Movie,5/5,a Matt Damon n George Clooney's movie...a story that every American should watch...heck...everybody in the world should watch it....then you'll see how ZALIM the US of A really are...

e)My Lucky Star, Cat and Mouse =>Hong Kong, comedy

f)Orang Gaji2:Bomoh, Anak Mami Kembali =>Malay, comedy

h)The unborn, Shutter, One miss call 1&2 =>Scary, The first 2 are Thai's....Shutter was really spooky and scary...1 miss call was Japan..also great specially the ringtone...some guys got it and the ringtone spread around in KSMU...

i)King Kong =>Ok la...not that bad..luv King Kong...but I like watching Andrian Brody more...didn't think that Jack Black could be so serious and evil at the same time...it was a superb perfomance from him

j)Tru Calling(Season 1&2), Scrub (S:1,2&3), Grey's Anatomy (S:1&2), House M.D (S:1&2) => This is all the TV series that I'm starting and am restricting myself to 1/2/3 episodes per day...hehehehe...Grey's Anatomy season 1 is great..already finish it....

The previous 2 days (8&9th February) we got a holiday...why???coz the temperature outside was nearing -30 Celcius....so we had the day off....Just started school and we had a break already...That remind me of the story of the people in Yakuttiya (north-east in Russia)...their winter is ussualy -60 Celcius and their SUMMER is -30Celcius...and when we asked Madam what they did there...she simply said "They drink"..hehehehe