Thursday, May 12, 2005

In loving memory

Its raining outside just like it is raining in my heart...te most beloved peopleon earth whom I love just passed away...My grandmother...Nenek...you don't know how much I miss you...I didn't get to see your face for the last time...I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong to you...I'm sorry if I could have never been the greatest grandchildren for you...I'm sorry for everything...Your the greatest thing that have ever happen to me...I'm sorry if I had ever hurt you...trully I didn't mean to...I will truly miss you...you are the sunlight of my life..you had brought me..you were the one who pampered me...I will always miss the way you laugh..the way you really care for me..how you won't let me do any work ause you don't want me to be tired...how you always cooked my favourite food everytime I went to Kampung...I will miss all the advice you had give me...the love you geve me was precious and there is nothing in the world that can surpass it...

How can I live without ever seing your smiling face again...or your sweet angelic voice...and your touches and hugs..how could I live here when I know that when I get back to Malaysia you won't be there to greet me...and you wouldn't get the chance to see me as a Doctor...how can I live when you woouldn't be there to pujuk Ayah when Ayah will get mad at me...how will I live when you are not there....Who would I cium tapak tangan during raya....who will I for forgiveness during raya...who will comfort me when everything go wrong...who will be my listening companion when we talked about my aunts and uncle...and there's no more kampung for me...without you there there is nothing...who will ever comfort me when I feel bad...

I feel guilty cause I couldn't be by your side when you took your final breathe...I knew that you had called for me when you were critical...I did called to asked about you...but Umi was at home at that time...and futher more...they won't let Hp to be brought into CCU...I'm sorry...I should've called...Umi said you were getting better....I don't know what went wrong...and I'll probably wouldn't know for a long time...I was really hard broken....I don't know what to say...the most beloved person in my entire life was taken from me without me having a chance to say goodbye or to say how much I love her...I had never thought that you will be gone when I'm still here trying to fininsh medical school...it is so ironic...I don't know what to say....

Nenek...plz know this...I will always miss you..you will always be in my heart and in my prayer...you were the one who brought me up when I was little...you were the one who had the patience to layan me...to you i was the apple of your eyes...and I still am...you were the one who feed me...you were the one who nutured me...you were the one who was worried when I was sick....you were the one who took care of me...you sacrifice alot for me...and I hadn't had the chance to pay you back for everything that you had done for me....

I don't know who will layan me after this...who will back me up everytime Atuk get angry with me when I wake up late...who will cooked for me pucuk manis masak santan...who will do all the kuih from Kampung just because I said I missed eating them when I was in asrama...who will cooked my sambil tumis anymore....only your sambal was the best in the world...who will masak cucur udang and nasi goreng kampung for me when I go back to kampung....all my favourite food was your cooking....I wouldn't get a taste for it anymore...there is so much more that I will miss from you...your laughter..the way you talked..all those small,itsy bitsy stuff that you just will miss....you really knew me...

I was praying that you would hold on till I get back...but alas.. Allah love you more...and I just prayed that you will be in Heaven with the good muslim...and may you be near to Allah there....I will always pray for you...and I know now that you are with our Creator,the Almighty, may your soul be blessed...cause trully you are the nicest person I had ever encounter...Mpga Allah mencucurkan rahmat kepada Nenek..Al-Fatihah...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm really glad i was nex to you when the news came. jangan sedey2 la, i know it's hard to deal when your beloved flown to God, but what was borrowed must be returned.. life must go on kan kan? lepas ni blajar rajin2, i know ur grandma would have wanted that. thanks teman aku shopping spree tadi, nanti kita sama2 mampus oleh bapak masing2 ok!

dla said...

tanks 4 being there 4 me...n thanks 4 d shopping also